Tuesday, April 22, 2003
Well it's been a long 3.5 days... I did ok on my presentation for class or so the teacher/students said.. I was very very nervous, very unprepared and unorganized but I guess I did ok... I still have to organize everything and put it into a written report but I have a little time for that...
Dev had his shrink appt Friday and the doc sees a difference in focus on the new meds (Strattera) so we will continue w/20 mg - 10 in am and 10 at night for the next month... Working on the behaviour chart w/him and hopefully that will help some... they are starting a new JUST FOR DEV one at school and starting w/him staying in his seat as the first bad choice to change..
Dilen was very upset he couldn't go in w/Dev to talk to shrink - I managed to calm him down and then a few min later the doc opens door to talk to me and Dil is allowed in w/Dev and they get to go play again in wait room (small office overall). Doc asks if that's his next patient (Dilen).. I said ehh maybe not - I don't see the hyperness w/Dil... Doc says Oh it's there!! Then I comment that we still have about a yr and half before he's school age so I was gonna consider the evaluation process this time next yr for him (BEFORE school just in case there are some probs so that Dil doesn't have to go thru all that Dev is/had).. Doc says "Oh it's already started!" While it's not fun to hear your OTHER child might have some probs it was nice to hear that there just might be something as I do have some small concerns about Dilen but I was/am never sure if it's learned from Dev or not - then again some things Dil does he hasn't been around when Dev did them, ya know??? But anyway - the appt itself was a good one over all...
On the way OUT of the appt the boys were racing/fighting over who was gonna be line leader/first to car and of course an accident is bound to happen - of course it did... Dilen hit Deven in head w/his mouth - loosened a tooth and bruised the gum... *sigh* Took Dilen to dentist on Sat morning - it all looks ok, might be sore for a bit so no hard foods like apples, corn on cob, carmels, etc... and the tooth might turn colors from trauma to the nerve but we will wait and see.. the perm tooth is fine though - just need to keep an eye on things....
Saturday was a DISASTER after that... E dragged us out for lunch and walking around mall - ended up buying the kids each a toy - ARRRGGGGGGGGGGG!! I am sooo tired of the kids being given things after we tell them NO MORE!! And to make it worse tell them they have a $5 or $10 limit and get them each a $20 toy - then bitch about how much you spent!! No wonder they act like brats!!! And let's not talk about lunch that *I* ended up paying for that cost $30 and of course they all had ABOUT one plate of buffet!!! What a waste!!!
Then later that afternoon/evening it's time to lit into Angel again - it's all my fault about the debt, the boys, the broken cars, his drinking, etc... What started it this time?? I took my rings out of hock Thurs w/my OT $$ and didn't tell him then I left them on the sink when I took a shower and didn't put them back on... sooo I was being deceitful and spitting in his face - HUH??? Then we are gonna continue to berate me about EVERYTHING that's wrong - I am surprised that I wasn't blamed for 9/11 and the war at this point - then every now and again he stops - tells me he loves me and would do anything for me and wants a hug - only to turn again and continue his "lecture" telling me that I am GONNA do things this way or that per HIS orders - yeah RIGHT - the man is soo warped about some things, ok most and I am gonna listen to HIM??? FINALLY I had enough almost 1.5 hrs later and snapped... I kicked him out... I will NOT be verbally abused and blamed for it all anymore!! SOOO I had to rush to get the other girl to cover me last night... We all finally went to bed at 10. I slept for about 14-15 hrs before finally becoming conscience enough to get up and dressed and moving at 1pm today... And I still feel drained.. I am not sure if Deven even slept or slept long last night - I think he got up and played quietly w/his cars in his room... *sigh* I feel so bad for the boys but they deserve better then all this... so do I... And I made sure Deven understood that you don't talk to or treat people the way that I was being treated... that while Daddy and I aren't together we still love him...
Any how - I need to find someone to cover the boys tonight and tomorrow... I really really need that promotion to go on days I think... I will miss my night job but I don't think I can do it much longer...
OH and I picked up the car today!! WOOO HOOOO It's running - pretty well actually - still has some issues w/the waterpump but I can live w/losing a few ounces of water daily... I DO need to get muffler fixed and the windshield replaced but it's running enough to do the approx 8 miles daily I need it for... I gave the guy that runs the self help shop that did alot of the work for me $20 - I wish I had more as he deserves it but I just don't have it... I will probably slip him a $20 here and there for a few months just cause he did do so much of the hardest work for me...
Well I need to get moving - gotta clean the car out - my god I have tons of trash and crap in it!! *L* And lord forbid they go to searching cars! *L* Thanks for listening to me bitch... Til next time...
Dev had his shrink appt Friday and the doc sees a difference in focus on the new meds (Strattera) so we will continue w/20 mg - 10 in am and 10 at night for the next month... Working on the behaviour chart w/him and hopefully that will help some... they are starting a new JUST FOR DEV one at school and starting w/him staying in his seat as the first bad choice to change..
Dilen was very upset he couldn't go in w/Dev to talk to shrink - I managed to calm him down and then a few min later the doc opens door to talk to me and Dil is allowed in w/Dev and they get to go play again in wait room (small office overall). Doc asks if that's his next patient (Dilen).. I said ehh maybe not - I don't see the hyperness w/Dil... Doc says Oh it's there!! Then I comment that we still have about a yr and half before he's school age so I was gonna consider the evaluation process this time next yr for him (BEFORE school just in case there are some probs so that Dil doesn't have to go thru all that Dev is/had).. Doc says "Oh it's already started!" While it's not fun to hear your OTHER child might have some probs it was nice to hear that there just might be something as I do have some small concerns about Dilen but I was/am never sure if it's learned from Dev or not - then again some things Dil does he hasn't been around when Dev did them, ya know??? But anyway - the appt itself was a good one over all...
On the way OUT of the appt the boys were racing/fighting over who was gonna be line leader/first to car and of course an accident is bound to happen - of course it did... Dilen hit Deven in head w/his mouth - loosened a tooth and bruised the gum... *sigh* Took Dilen to dentist on Sat morning - it all looks ok, might be sore for a bit so no hard foods like apples, corn on cob, carmels, etc... and the tooth might turn colors from trauma to the nerve but we will wait and see.. the perm tooth is fine though - just need to keep an eye on things....
Saturday was a DISASTER after that... E dragged us out for lunch and walking around mall - ended up buying the kids each a toy - ARRRGGGGGGGGGGG!! I am sooo tired of the kids being given things after we tell them NO MORE!! And to make it worse tell them they have a $5 or $10 limit and get them each a $20 toy - then bitch about how much you spent!! No wonder they act like brats!!! And let's not talk about lunch that *I* ended up paying for that cost $30 and of course they all had ABOUT one plate of buffet!!! What a waste!!!
Then later that afternoon/evening it's time to lit into Angel again - it's all my fault about the debt, the boys, the broken cars, his drinking, etc... What started it this time?? I took my rings out of hock Thurs w/my OT $$ and didn't tell him then I left them on the sink when I took a shower and didn't put them back on... sooo I was being deceitful and spitting in his face - HUH??? Then we are gonna continue to berate me about EVERYTHING that's wrong - I am surprised that I wasn't blamed for 9/11 and the war at this point - then every now and again he stops - tells me he loves me and would do anything for me and wants a hug - only to turn again and continue his "lecture" telling me that I am GONNA do things this way or that per HIS orders - yeah RIGHT - the man is soo warped about some things, ok most and I am gonna listen to HIM??? FINALLY I had enough almost 1.5 hrs later and snapped... I kicked him out... I will NOT be verbally abused and blamed for it all anymore!! SOOO I had to rush to get the other girl to cover me last night... We all finally went to bed at 10. I slept for about 14-15 hrs before finally becoming conscience enough to get up and dressed and moving at 1pm today... And I still feel drained.. I am not sure if Deven even slept or slept long last night - I think he got up and played quietly w/his cars in his room... *sigh* I feel so bad for the boys but they deserve better then all this... so do I... And I made sure Deven understood that you don't talk to or treat people the way that I was being treated... that while Daddy and I aren't together we still love him...
Any how - I need to find someone to cover the boys tonight and tomorrow... I really really need that promotion to go on days I think... I will miss my night job but I don't think I can do it much longer...
OH and I picked up the car today!! WOOO HOOOO It's running - pretty well actually - still has some issues w/the waterpump but I can live w/losing a few ounces of water daily... I DO need to get muffler fixed and the windshield replaced but it's running enough to do the approx 8 miles daily I need it for... I gave the guy that runs the self help shop that did alot of the work for me $20 - I wish I had more as he deserves it but I just don't have it... I will probably slip him a $20 here and there for a few months just cause he did do so much of the hardest work for me...
Well I need to get moving - gotta clean the car out - my god I have tons of trash and crap in it!! *L* And lord forbid they go to searching cars! *L* Thanks for listening to me bitch... Til next time...
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